


Three Days

by fireflys_locket



Series: Misfit Days [1]
Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-12
Updated: 2010-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflys_locket/pseuds/fireflys_locket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Excerpts from three days in the Misfits' lives. Written in an experimental style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 3: Clare Edwards - The Incident

~Chapter 1 – Day 3: Clare Edwards - The Incident~  
  
...since then, the three of us remained as a strong brigade. Eli had taken to calling us the Misfits. In his eyes, they had corrupted me as well. It wasn't something that I liked to admit, but I thought the name sort of fit us well. After everything that had happened, we were like rebels, those on the outskirts of the rest of the school. Misfits. It was perfect.  
  
Today was already an odd day. Alli and Jenna usually sat alone now. They were their own sort of outcasts, though I knew that Alli secretly was scheming some new way to become popular. Today, however, Jenna had a doctor's appointment, so Alli was sitting with us. It had taken nearly all of yesterday's lunch period to convince Eli and Adam to let her.  
  
"Too loud," Adam had said.  
  
"Too obnoxious," Eli had added in.  
  
Alli, for her part, didn't look particularly happy about the situation either. "Couldn't you give up one lunch with them for me? As your best friend ever. Please, Clare?" She'd begged.  
  
My answer was simple: "No."  
  
So, I was crazy; I wanted my best friends to somehow all get along. They could at least get through one lunch together. For me.  
  
"Please, Eli." I had said, batting my eyes. I knew he was the one to win over. I could just threaten another of Adam's 'special-editions' if he complained. "For me."  
  
"You look ridiculous." But nothing else was said on the matter, so I'd known I had won.  
  
So, the four of us sat together on a picnic bench. Boys on one side, girls on the other. We sat... staring at each other for five whole minutes. Or in the case of my friends, glaring at each other.  
  
"Okay, let's talk about something..." I said, finally. I felt like I was leading a class. Or maybe, I was a group therapist. "Does anyone have a discussion topic we can all be interested in?'  
  
"Doubtful." Eli said, smirking.  
  
"The new issue of-" Adam started.  
  
"Sizzler Teen?" Alli said at once, turning to me. "Did you see the article about-"  
  
"Ugh," Adam and Eli said, simultaneously.  
  
"How about schoolwork?" I suggested. "We can all relate to that."  
  
"Who wants to talk about that?" Alli said. "How about music? What are your favorite-"  
  
"Dead Hand." Eli and Adam said, instantly.  
  
"Ew, you and Sav." Alli said, sticking out her tongue. "Who would want to listen to a band with a name like that?"  
  
"This is ridiculous, Clare," Adam said. He started to get up. "This group lunch thing isn't going to work."  
  
"Whoa, whoa," Eli said, suddenly. "We haven't heard about your date yet."  
  
Adam paled. "I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Ooh, okay... dating, now that I can relate to," Alli said, looking mischievous.  
  
"Adam doesn't have to talk about it if he doesn't want to," I said. Though I had to admit I was dying of curiosity, myself.  
  
"Yeah, right," Eli said. "After you made us have a sit-down interview with her? Now, I don't even get to know how far he got?"  
  
"Eli!" I scolded. "And it was not a sit-down interview. It was a casual couple of questions to make sure Fiona-"  
  
"Wait," Alli said. "Are you talking about Fiona _Coyne_? Like... the girl whose brother you-?"  
  
"Stole a story from!" I said, quickly. Eli raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, sure," Alli said, laughing. "But I heard... well, isn't she craz-?"  
  
"You'd better not finish that," Adam threatened. His cheeks were on fire now, and his fists were clenched on the table.  
  
Alli closed her mouth for a moment, annoyed. Then, she started back up. "So, you're dating Fiona Coyne? A senior? A rich, practically famous senior?"  
  
"Well, we went out like twice... I don't know if you'd say we were _dating_ ," Adam said, frowning.  
  
"Okay, but how far did you get?" Eli asked.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Can't you save that kind of talk for boys' night?"  
  
"You want to know, too..." Eli accused. I blushed.  
  
"I want to know!" Alli said, excitedly. They ignored her.  
  
Adam was still very red. "We didn't do anything. I didn't- neither of us wanted to. We want to take it slow for now."  
  
"Yeah, I got it." Eli nodded. "There's nothing wrong with that." He gave me a quick glance; my heart floated, somehow.  
  
"Did you kiss her goodnight?" I asked, trying to distract myself.  
  
"...Yeah." Adam said, embarrassed. Eli patted him on the back, and I gave him a big smile.  
  
Alli looked disheartened. "And that's it? That's all you have to say after dating a _Coyne_?"  
  
I sighed. "Guys don't talk about their dates the same way girls do, Alli," I said.  
  
"I _know_ that, Clare," Alli grumbled. "It's just something interesting was finally happening at this boring table."  
  
We quieted down for awhile. I glanced at Eli. He had a strange look on his face.  
  
"Something wrong, Eli?" I asked.  
  
"Uh, well... I was just thinking," he said, looking at Adam. "If you were going to, how would you?"  
  
I tilted my head, confused for a moment. "What do you mean?"  
  
"That's right," Alli said, ignoring me. "You're not... I mean, you don't have... male _parts_."  
  
I went scarlet. That's what he meant. Adam looked frustrated with my friend, though I could tell she was trying not to offend him. He turned to Eli and shrugged. "I guess a vibrator...?"  
  
Alli suddenly burst into laughter. Eli and Adam glared at her.  
  
"No... no..." She said, trying to compose herself. "I'm not laughing... about that..."  
  
"What, then?" Adam asked, irritation clear in his face.  
  
"I was just thinking... of the time...Clare-" Alli giggled.  
  
My heart stopped. "Okay, I think we should go get ready for class. The bell is going to ring _any_ minute."  
  
"No way," Eli said, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "I've got to hear this."  
  
"Clare? ... and a...?" Adam said, analyzing me with his eyes.  
  
"It's not what it sounds like,'" I said, frowning.  
  
" _Sure_..." Eli said.  
  
"It's not!" I said. I was aware that I sounded like a child, but I did _not_ want Eli getting the wrong idea the way K.C. had.  
  
"All right," Eli said. 'Tell us what happened, then..." He looked away from me. "Bhandari."  
  
Alli smiled; it was her gossip smile. "We were in Math class, and Connor tripped over Clare's bag, and it started vibrating."  
  
I didn't know how two boys could look so shocked while laughing so hard.  
  
"But it wasn't mi-"  
  
"And then, Mr. Armstrong was like... 'No cell phones in class, Miss Edwards.' " Alli continued. "And our silly Clare said, "I don't have a cell phone, Sir.'"  
  
"Well, I didn't, but that wasn't-" I tried. No one was listening to me.  
  
"So, he reached into her bag, saying 'Then, what's this...?' " Alli said, falling over in laughter again. "And he pulled out... the vibrator."  
  
"Clare... had a vibrator... and in her school bag?" Adam laughed. Eli didn't seem able to form any words. His face was red from laughing so hard, and I thought I saw tears coming out of his eyes.  
  
I must have looked ready to kill them. "Oh, come on, Clare." Alli said. "I know it was embarrassing then, but that was more than a year ago. Can't you just laugh at yourself for once, instead of being so serious all the time?'  
  
"Okay," I said. "That part was _kind of_ funny... I guess." I turned to the boys. "But I need to explain, the vibrator wasn't-"  
  
The bell rang. "No," I growled.  
  
My friends were getting up and gathering their stuff, still laughing lightly. "That was pretty funny, Bhandari." Eli said, before taking off towards the building.  
  
Adam gave me a look and left as well. I shook my head. I couldn't let them think for another moment that I had... But they were heading in different directions. I couldn't get to both of them. I had to make the obvious choice.  
  
Without even saying goodbye to Alli, I shoved what was left of my lunch into my bag and threw it over my shoulder. I raced after Eli. I caught up with him right before he turned the corner for his History class. I grabbed his arm, and he turned.  
  
"What, Clare?" He was still chuckling. I pulled him away from the classroom. "Are we skipping again?"  
  
"No, " I said, turning around to face him. "I just need to talk to you for second."  
  
"It's fine, Clare," Eli said, smirking "It's not that bad. Everyone gets curious at some point. I'm sure God won't hold it against you."  
  
"I'm not worried about God holding it against me, Eli," I said. Mostly because I hadn't actually used it...  
  
"You think _I_ would?" He asked, looking astonished.  
  
"No, it's not that..." I sighed. "It wasn't really mine. Alli stuck it in my bag at Connor's house so that Mr. Simpson wouldn't know she'd been looking in his bedroom."  
  
"Huh?" Eli said. "So, it was Mr. Simpson's?"  
  
"Well, his wife's... I'm guessing." I tried to shake weird images from my brain. "It doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know it wasn't mine."  
  
"But you kept it..." Eli said, giving me a look.  
  
"No," I corrected. "I was trying to give it back to Alli, but she wouldn't take it."  
  
"But then, you kept it..." Eli said, smiling.  
  
I shook my head. "After Mr. Armstrong found it, I had to have the _most_ embarrassing talk with the principal and my mother. The ridiculous Coach Shepherd took it away after that."  
  
"So, you're mad at him for taking it?" Eli said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Stop making things into what they aren't, Eli," I said, angrily. I knew he was joking, but I was flashing back to K.C.'s reaction.  
  
"I'm just teasing, Clare," Eli said, chuckled. "I believe you."  
  
I sighed. Thank God.  
  
"But you had to be just a _little_ curious," he said. "Right?'  
  
"Well, I did have a talk with my mom after that..." I said, shifting my weight, awkwardly. "I asked a few questions..."  
  
"You talked to your _mom_?" Eli asked, stunned.  
  
"...yeah," I said. I gave a quiet laugh. "It was really embarrassing."  
  
"Well, you know..." Eli said after a moment. He looked just a little embarrassed, himself. "If you ever get a little more curious, you could let me know."  
  
"That's not going to happen," I declared.  
  
He looked straight at me, eyes gleaming again. My breath caught.  
  
"Never?" Eli asked in a teasing tone.  
  
"Not unless we end up getting married," I stated, showing him a glimpse of my chastity ring.  
  
"How about when we've been dating a year?" Eli asked. "Would you consider it, then?"  
  
"No," I said, solidly. "Married."  
  
"Engaged?" Eli proposed.  
  
He looked so amazing: smiling, only half-teasing. In spite of everything, I wanted to believe we could really last all our lives. I smiled.  
  
"That wasn't a no." Eli said, laughing.  
  
I sighed. "I guess it wasn't."


	2. Day 2: Adam Torres - The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam finds everything that Fiona does magical. Things don't work that way for him. Is he cursed to play a gal-pal to the girl he likes?

~Chapter 2 - Day 2: Adam Torres - The Date~   
  
...and that wasn't the worst part. I was getting my period.   
  
"Damn it!" I hissed under my breath.   
  
I had always been irregular. There was never enough to go by to plan for it. And of course, it always came at the worst possible times. I thought about my first encounter with Bianca and shuddered. It was like getting close to girls somehow set it off.   
  
A frightening thought.   
  
Fiona was just coming in the door. There was no time. I didn't want her to catch me slipping into the girl's bathroom to get a tampon from the machine. She knew, but it was still embarrassing.   
  
"I thought she seemed really sweet," Clare had said, after she and Eli had talked to Fiona.   
  
"A little snobby, though." Eli had said, rolling his eyes.   
  
"Just a little," Clare had amended. "But she didn't seem to mind us asking a few questions."   
  
"I can't believe you interviewed her," I had said, shaking my head.   
  
"I can't believe you want to date Fiona Coyne," Eli had said. "But then, I never get the girls you're into."   
  
Fiona sat across from me. She was beaming. "Hey," she said, as she put her bag on the chair.   
  
"H-hey," I said. "How are you?"   
  
"Great," she answered. "I can't wait for you to hear the band tonight. They're totally fab."   
  
"Yeah," I said with an awkward laugh. "I can't wait."   
  
It was the reason we were here. Fiona had wanted me to hear an up-and-coming band.   
  
"They're a lot like Dead Hand." she'd said. "But even better."   
  
That was blasphemy, but I liked her too much to say that. "Okay, um... so maybe we could meet up before...?" I'd asked.   
  
"Sure," she'd said. It was hard to believe, but it had really been that simple.   
  
And here we were, at the Dot. Our second date... or sort of. I didn't really know if our last meeting had counted or not. In fact, I wasn't sure if _this_ counted either. But I wasn't going to ask.   
  
"If you want, we could double," Clare had offered. "Maybe that would help you be less nervous?"   
  
"I think that would make me more nervous, actually," I had told her.   
  
So, Clare and Eli were at the movies instead. Now, I actually wished they were here. Being a girl, Clare might have been able to sneak me a tampon without Fiona noticing. It occurred to me that Fiona was a girl, too. She probably had them. But I was _not_ going to ask.   
  
The waiter came over to us. "Oh, hey, Peter." Fiona said. "I'll have a chicken salad, no dressing. And peach iced tea."   
  
Something I'd noticed about Fiona was that she seemed to know everyone. Whether we were talking in the hallway or studying in the library. Apparently, she knew The Dot guy, too. I didn't know why that bothered me. Maybe it was the stupid hormones.   
  
"Cool," Peter said. He looked at me. "What about you, man?"   
  
I hadn't really thought about it. "Coke. And a burger, I guess." I said. "With mushrooms."   
  
"All right, that'll be up soon," Peter said, heading over to another table.   
  
"You look a little nervous," Fiona said, softly, after Peter was gone. "Are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah," I said, quickly. "I'm fine. Just a little... stomachache." It was cramps, really.   
  
"Oh," she said. "Sorry."   
  
I fidgeted in my seat, waiting for the food. I had to think of something to say. Peter was back rather quickly. I dug into my food, rejoicing the fact that it gave me an excuse not to talk much. At least for awhile.   
  
"You're so quiet," Fiona said, frowning. "Are you really sick or something? I could walk you home..."   
  
My logical side was fighting against my feelings for her. I could make it up to her next time. A time when I wasn't having my period. But how could I let such a little thing get in the way of our maybe-date? That would be stupid.   
  
"Don't worry about it," I said. "It's no big deal. I have them all the time..."   
  
I frowned at myself. That sounded weird. Why had I said that? I was an idiot.   
  
Fiona was staring at me, confused. Then, her eyes lit up. "Oh, are you..?" she asked under her breath.   
  
I cringed. Damn it. How had she figured it out? I was so stupid. "Yeah..."   
  
Fiona casually put her fork down and reached into her purse. She pulled something out, her long hair in the way of anyone seeing. Then, she put her hands under the table and smiled. I stared at her. Oh. Okay.   
  
I took the tampon from her, our hands brushing against each other. It was like an electric shock. I blushed... for several reasons. I tucked the tampon into my pocket, glancing around. No one was looking. I got up and went to the men's room.   
  
When I got back, Fiona had finished her salad. She was sipping on her iced tea. My heart was pounding.   
  
"Hey," I said, sitting down. "Thanks."   
  
"For what?" She winked.   
  
Fiona let me finish my food. She stared out the window. Did she want to be elsewhere? Maybe I had been kidding myself. But she was smiling, rather serenely. "Looks like a crowd is forming."   
  
I checked my watch. It was almost time for the club to open. "Crap." I said. "Sorry for taking so long."   
  
She laughed. "It's practically _my_ band. They'll let us through."   
  
Her confidence was overwhelming. I imagined myself trying to push my way through a crowd. It wasn't a pretty sight. Still, with Fiona... anything was possible.   
  
Peter came over to check on us. "Any dessert?" I shook my head. I was craving chocolate cake, but I didn't want to look like a total pig.   
  
"For you, Fi?" Peter asked.   
  
"No, thanks," she replied. "We want to get upstairs."   
  
"Cool," he said. "I'll be right back with your bill."   
  
When Peter brought the bill, he put it near me, but Fiona snatched it up. She was paying. _Again._ I frowned.   
  
"I can get that," I said.   
  
She ignored me. Putting the money under the bill, she stood. "Let's get upstairs!"   
  
Once outside, Fiona effortlessly slipped through the crowd and started up the stairs. People didn't part so easily for me. She turned back, looking for me. She laughed. I tried to meet her halfway.   
  
Fiona grabbed my hand, and my breathing took a turn. "Just hold onto me."   
  
There were parts of her I'd have rathered grabbing onto. She pulled me up with her; I felt like a girl. Like Fiona was treating me like some gal-pal. I could just see Alli pulling Clare up the stairs.   
  
We were the first ones in. The door opened for Fiona, like magic. Our date was feeling a little less than magical to me. If it even was a date. She wouldn't let me pay for her, she dragged me up the stairs, _and_ she slipped me a tampon. I wanted to hit my head against the wall.   
  
My thoughts started to get lost as the club got more and more crowded. "They'll be starting up soon." Fiona said. She really was excited.   
  
I sighed. "Great." She couldn't quite catch my tone in the mass of people talking.   
  
When the band finally got onstage and started playing, I calmed down a little. They really were pretty good. I moved around to the beat. The crowd seemed to be getting into the band, too. Fiona was kidding herself calling them better than Dead Hand, though.   
  
"So, how did you discover them, again?" I asked.   
  
"They were playing a little gig in a small club in NYC," she explained. "I'd just ducked in for a drink."   
  
I nodded. Something reminded me that Fiona hadn't been old enough to drink, but the image of Fiona sipping a bit of champagne seemed somewhat classy.   
  
Fiona giggled. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.   
  
I cringed, realizing I must have made a face at her words. Stupid, stupid.   
  
Fiona just shook her head at my non-answer and looked back at the stage. She didn't talk anymore, until the band had finished their first set. "Let's go and meet them!"   
  
Fiona took my hand, but she didn't pull me this time. We walked together at the same pace. My heart pounded. Again.   
  
"Hey, guys!" she called. The members came to the side of the stage to greet us. Several of the members leaned down to hug Fiona, and she let go of my hand to hug them back. I felt a little sick.   
  
"How's our Fiona?" one of them asked.   
  
"Fab, as always!" Fiona said, smiling. "Anyways, this is the guy I wanted to meet you."   
  
"How's it going?" Another asked of me.   
  
"Hey," I said, awkwardly.   
  
"That's Adam," she explained. Then, she named each of the members in turn. "In the front, Stefan, then, Blake, Xander, and Raz. And there you have it: Death to Paris!" They each nodded at me.   
  
Stefan leaned down and whispered something in Fiona's ear. She giggled. My stomach hurt. And this time, it wasn't cramps.   
  
"Well, you should go play meet-and-greet with your new fans before your second set," Fiona advised.   
  
They agreed, and we said our goodbyes. Fiona was beaming. "Aren't they fantastic?"   
  
"Yeah, sure," I said. Fiona frowned. My tone was obvious in the lighter music.   
  
"Oh," she said, sadly. "I really thought you'd like them."   
  
"Yeah, well... they're okay." I allowed.   
  
Fiona was looking honestly upset. I frowned. "I-I mean... they're great!" I said, quickly.   
  
She sighed. "You don't have to say that just to make me feel better, Adam," she said.   
  
"I'm not!" I said. "I really do like their music, I just..."   
  
"What?" Fiona asked, staring at me.   
  
My heart skipped a beat. What could I say? "I... I was just wondering..."   
  
I couldn't do it. But I had to say something.   
  
"...yes?"   
  
I sighed. "Are you... like... _into_ Stefan?"   
  
Fiona burst into laughter. " _What_? Seriously??"   
  
I felt like an idiot. Again. "Yeah, seriously... but never mind."   
  
"Stefan... isn't my type," she said, no longer laughing. "If I was going to date someone in the band, it would be Raz. He's the one writing the amazing lyrics."   
  
"Oh." I frowned. That wasn't as comforting as I'd have liked.   
  
"He's a total sweetheart," Fiona said, glancing at him greeting some fans. I wanted to punch him. "But his heart is currently taken," she continued, matter-of-factly. And she turned back to me. "And so is mine."   
  
"Wh-what?! Who...?" I asked, desperately.   
  
Fiona laughed ever so sweetly. Oh. _Idiot._   
  
I felt like I was spinning. So, she didn't think of me as a girl-friend. Fiona was just acting... like Fiona.   
  
"You want to dance?" she asked, casually. There was a soft, slow song on.   
  
"...yeah," I said. "But you have to let me lead."   
  
Fiona smiled. "Sure."   
  
I don't know if I'd ever felt the way I felt now, holding Fiona close to me. We seemed to be leaning closer and closer as the song went on. But after awhile, I started to notice that Fiona was looking off to the side, unhappily.   
  
"Is... something wrong?" I asked. 'Please say no.' I thought, frantically.   
  
"I don't know," she said, quietly. My heart was breaking open.   
  
"Do you want to go?" I asked. I didn't dare think what she'd say, in fear of jinxing myself.   
  
Fiona shook her head, then she looked me right in the eyes. "Listen, there are some things you should know about me... before we get serious."   
  
I was glad she said 'before' and not 'if'.   
  
"Okay," I said.   
  
"I'm not exactly... normal." she said. I understood _that_. "I have a therapist, and I'm on anxiety meds."   
  
I didn't know how to respond. "That's just who I am," she added.   
  
"...I understand..." I said, carefully. My cheeks were growing warmer. "I mean, I'm not exactly normal, either."   
  
Fiona smiled. "I kind of like that about you."   
  
The slow song ended, and Death to Paris got back on the stage for their second set. Fiona and I sighed at almost the same moment. Then, Fiona giggled. I liked being the one to make her do that.   
  
We parted slowly and watched the band again.   
  
When the night was coming to a close, Fiona turned to me. "Should I walk you home?"   
  
I frowned. "How about _I_ walk _you_ home?"   
  
"I'd like that." Fiona said.   
  
I cautiously reached for her hand. Quickly, I glanced at her face. She wasn't looking my way, but her lips were curled into a smile. I let out my held breath.   
  
We talked mostly about our favorite songs from the band. I realized more and more that I really had enjoyed them a lot.   
  
"You know," Fiona said, nonchalantly. "I asked the band to come for you."   
  
I smiled and laughed, blushing. "Thanks."   
  
"No problem."   
  
We were at her apartment long before I would have liked. I wasn't ready to go home. I tried to gather my courage. "Can I maybe... come in and see your apartment?"   
  
"Next time," Fiona said. "It's getting late, and I promised Declan I'd call tonight."   
  
I tried to not get jealous of Fiona's brother and realized my mom would freak if I got home too late. "Okay." I tried to smile. She had said 'next time'.   
  
We stood quietly for a minute. I wasn't sure what I should do. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn't sure if I should... I had, at least, realized that it _was_ a date.   
  
Fiona was giving me a look similar to when she had wanted me to take the tampon. I gathered my courage again and walked towards her. She leaned down.   
  
Every other sense seemed to shut down around me. All I could do was _feel_. I didn't want to stop, even if I came home to my mom screaming. But eventually, it was over. We parted... slowly, again.   
  
I tried not to, but I sighed. _My first kiss._


	3. Day 1: Eli Goldsworthy - The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli and Clare are still getting used to dating, when their "date night" turns into "interview night" for Adam's new crush.

~Day 1: Eli Goldsworthy - The Interview~ 

...but that wasn't true. Clare did want to know. I had seen it in her face yesterday. 

Tonight was supposed to be our "date night", but Clare was on a different planet. Her eyes were out the window, searching for the stars. She was lost deep in thoughts concerning Adam. 

"I'm just worried for him, that's all," she had said on the way in. "You know how badly it went for him last time." 

"That was his own mistake for picking Bianca," I had concluded. "I don't get his taste, at all. I'd much rather have a fiery red-head with some brains." 

Clare had blushed. I had thought that was a good sign. That we were moving back into the direction of a real date. No such luck. 

"Get your head out of the clouds, Edwards," I said. 

She rolled her eyes. "I told you to stop calling me that, Eli." 

"And I told you that I would as long as you deserved it," I teased. 

Clare slapped me on the arm; I smirked. Good. 

"So, are you going to talk tonight or just daydream?" I asked. 

Clare made her thoughtful face. "Is it really daydreaming if it's nighttime?" 

I laughed. "It might be daytime on whatever planet your mind is on right now." 

Clare sighed. "I just wish there was some way we could he-" Her eyes widened. 

I looked behind me. Fiona Coyne was coming in the door. Oh, great. 

"It's... Fiona," Adam had - finally - admitted yesterday. 

"Fiona Coyne?" Clare had gasped. 

"It's not that big of a deal," Adam had tried to convince us. But I could tell it was a big deal to him. 

Clare tried to look the other way, but I didn't bother. Fiona wasn't paying any attention to us, anyway. 

"I can't believe she's here," Clare said. I looked back at her. I couldn't tell if she was excited or nervous. I wasn't sure which I would have liked better. 

"I think even rich girls like coffee, Clare," I said. "Or lattes." 

"No, I mean... it's perfect," Clare said, quickly. "Maybe we could talk to her." 

"Whoa, what?" I said. "Why would you want to talk her?" 

"Well, obviously... to see if her intentions are pure," Clare said. 

"I hope her intention aren't totally pure," I reasoned. "For Adam's sake." 

Clare frowned at me. "What?" I asked. She just shook her head. 

"Listen," she said. "I'm serious. I don't want Adam to get hurt again. I think he really likes her, and I don't want him to... hurt himself again if it doesn't work out." 

I frowned. Clare was right. I hadn't been there, but I knew about the incident. It wasn't something I knew how to handle the way Clare did. Her sister had been suicidal at one point, so she had a slightly better grasp on the situation. 

"But what can we do?" I asked. "Interview her?" 

Clare had her thoughtful face on again. "Well, I wouldn't say that... exactly." 

"I would..." I mumbled, as I watched Clare go through questions she wanted to ask in her head. "Are we really going to do this?" I asked, miserably. I couldn't see this working out well. 

"Yes," Clare answered, standing. "What kind of friends would we be if we didn't?" 

"The non-interfering kind?" I offered. But I got up and followed Clare over to Fiona's table. 

Fiona was busy typing away on her laptop, probably purchasing things we couldn't afford in our dreams. She didn't notice us until she reached for her latte. Her eyes passed me over to Clare. "Oh, hi, Clare," she said. "How are you?" 

They knew each other? 

"Hi. I'm fine, thanks." Clare said with a formal smile. "Mind if I sit?" Fiona shook her head, and Clare pulled out the other chair at the table, sat down, and folded her hands in front of her. She was so proper. I grabbed a chair that wasn't being used from the next table over and plopped myself down. 

Clare gave me a look for a moment before turning back to her unsuspecting interviewee. "I was actually hoping I would get a chance to talk to you today." 

"Really?" Fiona asked, curiously. She eyed me for a second. "I'm guessing you're not here to ask about Declan." 

Clare looked shaken for a minute. I didn't like that response. "Uh, no... that's not it," she said, hastily. "I was wondering... well, we're actually really good friends with Adam." 

"Ah, I see," Fiona said. She took another sip of her latte. "And you were wondering...?" 

"Well, we wanted to-" Clare started. 

"See if you were good enough." I finished. 

Clare glared at me. "Eli!" I rolled my eyes. This was already going on too long. Why prolong things with formalities? There were things I'd rather be doing with my time. Especially my Clare-time. 

"Sorry," Clare said to Fiona. 

Fiona laughed. "It's nice to see he has some loyal friends," she said. "Those are kind of rare in my old schools." 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Clare said, looking concerned. Fiona only shrugged in response. 

"Well, would you mind us asking... a few questions?" Clare tested, casually. 

"Go ahead," Fiona prompted, rising an eyebrow. 

Clare took a deep breath. "Well, I'm guessing you know of Adam's... situation. Right?" 

"Yeah, I do," Fiona answered. 

"Does it weird you out?" I asked before Clare could ask in a more proper way. 

"It doesn't bother me," Fiona said. "I wouldn't ask him out if it did, would I?" 

"That makes sense," Clare said, kindly. I wasn't satisfied. 

"So, are you into girls or something?" I asked. "Because Adam isn't a girl. Or a lesbian. He's a guy." 

Fiona smiled almost dangerously at me. "I'm aware of that," she said, darkly. "I'm not a lesbian, either." 

"So, you've dated guys before... if you don't mind my asking?" Clare said, trying to steer the conversation back into her formal intentions. 

"Yeah, I've dated a few times." Fiona said. "All guys, though one of them was gay," she threw out there with a casual shrug. 

"And one was your brother," I said under my breath. Clare hit me. Hard. 

"Excuse me?" Fiona said, looking dangerous again. 

I smiled, widely. "Nothing." She rolled her eyes. 

"Look," Fiona said, glancing back and forth to both of us. "I'm not out to get your friend. I actually like him just the way he is. And I thought he'd like the band that's playing Above the Dot tomorrow, so I asked him to come. It's as simple as that." 

"I'm sorry," Clare said at once. "I didn't mind to imply... or offend you." 

"You didn't," Fiona said. 

Clare laughed, awkwardly. "Eli doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, sometimes." 

Fiona laughed, too. "You can say that again." 

"Hey!" I snapped. "I'm actually trying to watch out for Adam here, not make friends." 

Clare looked hurt. I looked away from her. I was messing up again. I didn't know why I was acting the way I was. I did definitely want to watch out for Adam, as much as I had started out against the interview. But that wasn't at the core of what I was doing. 

I wanted Clare all to myself. I already had to share her with her silly girlfriends, and now that her sister was home, I had even less time than usual with her. If she made friends with Fiona, that would be even less time for me. I knew it was selfish; I knew I shouldn't have asked for more than I was already getting. It was already so much more than I deserved. 

"Sorry," I said, honestly. I peered back up at Clare. She was worried. It looked like she was trying to read my mind. I didn't like seeing her like that. I glanced at Fiona and was surprised to see that she looked... concerned. I didn't like her pity. 

"I need some air," I said, getting up. Clare grabbed my arm. I couldn't look at her; I was getting too upset. She let me go. 

I took a walk in the darkness. I didn't know where I was going until I got there. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes. What a silly place to go. 

I often took long walks at night when I couldn't sleep. Even after getting Morty, I preferred walking at night. And I always used to end up in the same place. Every time. 

I hated my past. I hated it so much, but I couldn't let it go. It was part of me. It had morphed me into what I was today. To let it go, to forget, was like tearing off my own arm. It was me. It was who I am. 

And yet, something had changed. I hadn't gone to the place of my distant past. To the scene of the tragedy that had destroyed the life of someone I'd loved. I wasn't there, sulking in its darkness, as usual. I was sitting on a damn bench. 

Clare was the light in the darkness. She was so bright that it hurt. She was the sun, and I was the moon. I hadn't thought it was possible, but her shine reflected off of me to light up the night. My dark place wasn't where I wanted to be anymore. 

I let my head fall into my hands. This was difficult for me. I didn't adapt to change well. Not big changes like this. I liked knowing where I was going to end up, even if I didn't mean to. Now, I was going in a completely different direction. 

"Eli?!" 

I looked up at her. "Hi, Clare." How long had I been sitting here? 

"What are you doing here?!" she yelled. "I went out to look for you, and I saw an empty Morty sitting outside of the Dot." 

"I told you, I needed some air," I said. 

"But you didn't answer your cell or anything," Clare said, desperately. "I called three times." 

"Battery's dead," I replied. 

Clare sat down next to me and put her head in her hands just like I had but only for a moment. Then, she looked up at me, pulling a hand through her hair. Her eyes were teary, and they sparkled in the light from the streetlamp. 

"Clare..." 

"I told you not to scare me like this again, Eli..." Clare said. "How was I supposed to know you were okay?" 

"You're overreacting," I said, quietly. I gently took the hand out of her hair and held it in both of mine. "I'm fine." 

"After everything that's happened, I'm just concerned about you," Clare said, exasperated. 

"You worry too much," I said, stroking her hand with my thumb. "Why?" 

"You don't worry enough! I have to worry for both of us!" Clare shouted, shaking her head. 

"Why?" I asked again. What kind of response was I looking for? 

"Because I love you!" Clare didn't look surprised or regretful of her outburst. Her piercing blue eyes looked right into mine. She wasn't ashamed of her words. 

I took a few deep breaths, not looking away from her for even a second. "I love you, too, Clare." 

I hadn't planned on saying it. Do people ever plan on saying they love someone? Maybe some people did. But not me. I acted on impulse. And I didn't regret it in the slightest.


End file.
